Completely Unrelated Random Ramblings

Hello faithful blog brothers and sisters! Haven’t had many thoughts worth sharing lately, so I’ve been quiet. Luckily, today there’s actually a few things brewing so, pull up a chair, and let your cup runeth over. Allow the following thoughts, quips and anecdotes to enter your cerebrum or cerebellum or whichever part of the brain filters confused ramblings into epic manifestos. Ready to awed? No? Good, I thrive on lesser expectations. Let the rambling commence:

  • The confederate flag. Starting off heavy I know, but according to Facebook it’s required that we all choose sides and then fight to the death. So, here’s my high horsed opinion. The confederate flag shouldn’t be a part of any government building or entity, but private citizens or businesses (this includes TV stations) should absolutely be able to make their own decisions about it. However, the states using it as their state flag are endorsing old values that have demeaned, oppressed, and currently insult a good portion of their own population. A government “by the people” is inconsistent with this oppressive symbol. Now, as far as private citizens go, it’s your right to wave the stars and bars, but it’s also my right to call you an asshole for doing so. That’s the first amendment in action m’fer!
  • Onto the lighter side of flag waving. How bout dem soccer gals! That was fun. I always like watching the women’s U.S. team. As an American I will now go back to not caring about soccer (except for the occasional Alex Morgan image searches). I’m only human. 
  • Saw my favorite comedian/podcaster, Marc Maron, last week at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ. Great show. The guy is so raw and personal, and  creates such a great connection with the audience. It also helps that the self doubting rage monster living in my head might be his twin separated at birth. 
  • Also incorporated some afternoon bar time before the show with The Lady. Maybe we’re aging quick in our mid thirties, but I’ll take a quiet chill bar on a Sunday afternoon over a crowded noisy douchefest on a Saturday night. 
  • Today I found myself giving relationship advice to a female co-worker. That was unexpected. Hope I didn’t say anything too stupid. Tried to keep it light and jokey so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. Probably shouldn’t have said anything. Now she’s gonna be mentally scarred after taking my half assed advice. Need to bring in one of those flashy thingies from M.I.B. and erase her memory tomorrow.
  • I don’t get millenials. They seem so self involved and emotional, but over the stupidest things. They all have this look in their eye that seems to say “I feel so bad for myself because of that completely meaningless inconsequential thing that means nothing. Don’t you feel bad for me?!” But I have a theory about this. Millenials are being raised by the gen xers who were raised by baby boomers. The baby boomers in large were pretty laxed in the emotional support department with their gen x kids. A lot of gen x kids grew up disconnected from their parents, and now they’re over compensating by endulging every emotional whim of their annoying millenial kids. So, as it goes with many of the world’s ills (war, pollution, income inequality, etc.) millenials are just another big F up by the baby boomers.

Any other sociological quandarys I can tackle for you? Shit, I got unqualified opinions on countless topics. What would you like to know? The one true religion? Meaning of life? Nothing’s off limits here (except for maybe relationship advice to female co-workers). Then I flashy thing you.

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Burn My Thoughts

The following is a useless collection of brain noise and inane ponderings that are taking up space in my head, and  impairing my ability to perform basic vital functions such as walking and breathing. Please take these thoughts from me as I can no longer care for them. Good, now they’re yours. Put them in a box, set them on fire, never speak of them again. Here goes:

*Another Bush is running for president. How does this keep happening? This is the kind of thing that makes me believe in conspiracy theories and empathize with people who wear tin foil hats.

*Tom Brady is a dirty deflator. Truth is that I couldn’t care less if his balls were deflated, and the suspension is way over the top. However, as a Jets fan I believe he is guilty, guilty, guilty! Hahahahaha. Yeah, sports makes me a dumb dummy, and I’m okay with that. Also “balls”.

*Why is the WordPress app acting like Microsoft word by not allowing me to control my own spacing? Stupid free program with endless storage and the ability to reach millions with my “art”. How dare you not be perfect!?

*The new Avengers movie is outstanding. It’s the first movie that I’ve seen in 3d that I felt the 3d effects were done well, and not just gimmicky. It was also the first movie I ever saw in IMAX 3d, so maybe IMAX is the key to good 3d. Mostly the movie is good because it has a great mix of action packed superhero fun, and a great story that gives all of its characters their due with respect to their own story without giving too much attention to any one character. Liked it so much I’m trying to get The Lady to see it just so I can go a second time.

*Why do I only feel like doing this (writing, blogging, wasting your time) when I’m barely awake, and need to go to bed?

*My need not to deal with the drudgery of clothes shopping out weighs my need to have decent, clean and wearable clothes. Oh well, I have a washing machine that keeps my 3 workpants clean. I also have a glut of socks, so I can deal with the random toe hole, but that well is bound to go dry. I should go shopping.

*I’m not going shopping.

*The Lady made burritos tonight. Isn’t she the greatest?!

Questions, comments, concerns, spacing advice?

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Two Sides, Too Many Opinions, One Hope

imageWhile most of what I’ve heard and seen about Ferguson, Mo leaves me empty, there is still hope as evident in the picture above. Whatever I can say about it, this picture says a million things I can’t.

Last week I along with the rest of world witnessed the consequence of the combined losses of discourse, trust, empathy and ultimately civility. Ferguson, Mo was gutted, burned and scarred. And while I was confused and dismayed, many others had surprisingly absolute hard opinions about the matter.

I sure I don’t have the answers to what actually happened in Ferguson, Mo but, nether do you. It’s pretty fucked up no matter which way you see it. Perhaps what happened is that two of the worst kind of people met up in a bad situation where only the worst could happen. That’s just my opinion. It’s not a fact, and I’m not stating it as such. Perhaps my opinion is wrong. I could totally live with that. Why can’t others?

Why is everyone else so sure they are right, and anyone who disagrees is a misguided fool or worse? Why is no one listening to each other? What is the goal of the Facebook warrior and his/her meme exclaimed with the pious superiority of Moses atop Sinai? I know who you are (bigoted relative, social justice warrior, dim-witted former co-worker), and I am pretty skeptical that you have the absolute answers to the country’s most serious problems such as race riots, immigration, gun control, etc. You can have an opinion, even a strong one, but once you enter into the realm of absolutism you are no longer engaged in a debate, and resolution is impossible.

While I was barraged by countless talking heads and posters who had absolutely no empathy, understanding or even a willingness to listen to the other side, this picture surfaced. It gave me hope. I hope it does the same for you.

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Unrelated Random Thoughts- Volume Uhh, 5 Maybe?

Welcome to another installment of Unrelated Random Thoughts. Remember, these thoughts are my own, and not yours’ to toy with. They come from a very special and fragile place (my brain). So, be kind and gentle with my thoughts. They are both precious and random.

Unrelated Random Thoughts
* Ever notice how 99% of people who say “I don’t give a shit what other people think” give more shits than anyone? And the 1% who really don’t give a shit are friggin insane.
* I found both inspiration and whatever the opposite of inspiration is in the following. Jen Kirkman, the clever podcast lady/comedienne, said in a recent episode that Taylor Swift had been named the Ambassador of New York City, and it made her (Jen Kirkman) want to vomit. At first I also wanted vomit, but then was inspired that there are other humans besides myself who are sickened at the continuing blind worship of mediocre talent, and the marketing, and the…….. Okay off my soapbox for the time being. Click or tap here for the pod thingy!
* I’m concerned that the word “vomit” appears regularly in both my real and blog life.
* I’m having a hard time finding music that fits my mood lately. If you’ve seen some of my posts it’s evident that I like older stuff. Rock with a lot of soul behind it, but not “soul music”. I’ve listened to the likes of Fleetwood Mac, Tom Petty, Queen and Billy Joel ad nauseum. I need something new (at least to me). I need stuff I can relax to, but also keeps me awake. It also has to be earth shatteringly transcendent and awe inspiring so you can see my dilemma. Any suggestions? Oh, please don’t say The Eagles. Just like The Dude, I hate The fuckin Eagles man!
* “ad nauseum”? What’s going on here?
* I find stand up comics to be the wisest of public figures. Does this say more about me, them or society.
* For no reason I don’t like to put an apostrophe over the n in fuckin. I know it’s customary, but I like it better without. Sorry if this or any other of my punctuation preferences confuse you. Okay, I’m not really sorry. Well, maybe very very just a little bit sorry. Like really the tiniest possible sorry. Like when you say you’re sorry for forgetfully purposely not returning a text. That kind of sorry.

Sorry, that’s all,
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Unrelated Random Thoughts- Volume 3 or 4 or Something

Listen up Blogholes! Stop what you’re doing right now, because I have stupid shit swirling around in my head, and you need help me dispose of it. No really, you are all legally obligated to read this post. Didn’t you read Word Press’s terms and conditions? Once a week all bloggers must go to this site, and feign interest in any and all opinions, complaints, or general blatherings that I feel like spewing on the blogging public. Oh, no need to thank me. You’re welcome.

Unrelated Random Thoughts
*I hate the All About That Bass song so much. Bitch, I get it. You like shitty music that repeats the lyrics over and over.
*The weird guy at work invited me over to play pinball. Yeah, didn’t see that coming. Don’t know what was more awkward; just letting the invite hang there pretending I didn’t hear it, or trying not to stare at his Genesis World Tour 1986 t-shirt. Dude freaked me out. It was I like I entered an alternate universe for a few minutes.
*Remember when Facebook was cool? Thanks Obama! 😠
*Sorry about referring to you guys as Blogholes. That wasn’t very nice, was it? Sometimes my preference for creative word plays comes at the expense of others. Good thing you guys are cool. Moving on….
*I’m liking that new show, Gotham. I was skeptical when the first episode concentrated on the original origin story that we’ve seen a thousand times, but it’s going in some cool directions. And, Camren Bicondova, who plays Selina Kyle (young cat woman) is awesome. When she’s on screen you can’t take your eyes off her. The casting director was obviously looking for a young Michelle Pheiffer and scored big time. Another thing I like is they’re really going dark with the tone and story. And young penguin is creepy as shit.
*Speaking of a young Michelle Pheiffer, damn she was hot! I mean so hot I actually sat thru shitty Grease 2 multiple times solely because of her hotness. Like extreme hall of fame type hotness. Michelle Pheiffer in Grease 2… just sayin.
*It’s Rex Manning Day! Speaking of shitty Grease 2, did you know that the Australian dude in it also played Rex Manning in Empire Records!? Boom! Mind blown, amirite?
*Auto correct is a perv. A few unrelated thoughts ago I typed “pretending”, but auto correct insisted on “pre teen dong”. Really? Yeah, really.

There, I’ve done it! Another masterful poorly thought out post full of random 💩 no one else could possibly give 2 💩💩s about. Fare thee well faithful blogophiles, and be mindful of Michelle Pheiffer’s hotness in Grease 2. If you’re not careful you might actually wind up watching Grease 2.

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Un-related Random Thoughts

It’s your lucky day Press Bots! Today you get a full post of Un-related Random Thoughts. I know, it’s too much, and now you have to think of a new Christmas present to ask Santa for, but I am a giver, and that is my cross. Like Jesus turned water to wine, I turn letters to words and words to posts and posts to things you quickly scroll passed in your reader in search for much more interesting and important things to read. So, yeah I’m basically Jesus. Enjoy!

Un-related Random Thoughts

*I never quite understood the legendary statuses of Eric Clapton or Bob Dylan. They’re both reasonably good musicians with some catchy songs. That’s it. Nothing special. It’s these kind of opinions that get me in trouble at social gatherings.

*Do not get pastrami from a chain sub shop. Trust me, It will not be good.

*The friggin Oxford comma vs. the other one is a debate that rages in my head every time I write. Do I use a comma here, not here and not here? Or, do I use a comma here, here, and not here? Ya know what, fuck commas!

*If John F. Kennedy lived, the world might have been a better place…. Maybe. Maybe not. Hey, he woulda been “The President Who Lived”. Wait, that’s all of them… well not ALL of them. K fine, forget it.

*What makes everyone think that they’re Einsten and not capable of making a mistake. I come across these idiots every day. Truth is half of them have no clue, and when you call them out for fucking up they always have an excuse why an outside entity is to blame. Look inward, proofread, double check, triple check. Fix your mistakes before I have to, and have some humility about it damn it. Unless your fuck ups involve commas. Then we’re cool.

*http://awkwardambivert.wordpress.com is right. Fuck Christopher Columbus.

*Special shout out to Huey Lewis and the News for being the only musical act so bad that I feel personally offended when I hear them. Really, when I hear them I get so angry that someone made that, and then didn’t have the decency to think, “Hey, for the good of mankind I’ll keep that shit to myself.” No, instead at least once a year I find myself in a supermarket or some other soul crushing place being forced to listen to I Need a New Drug or Hip To Be Square. It’s really totally, completely and utterly bad, amirite?

The preceding were the most thoughtful thoughts I could come up with today. Consider yourself #blessed. Until next time, don’t eat bad pastrami or make shitty Huey Lewis music.

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Opinions Are Like Assholes

Opinions are like assholes. Usually, the person stating one is an asshole. Need proof? The following are things I learned browsing the “Opinion” feed on Word Press:

*Iggy Azalea is a white racist, and Nikki Minaj is very upset about it.

*Feminists want to kill everything masculine.

*Cats are better than dogs. Whew, glad someone cleared that up for me. 😻

*Pro-choice people won’t be satisfied until all the adorable thimble sized babies are brutally massacred by filthy liberals.

*The band Snow Patrol is “shite”. I liked this one for two reasons. One because it’s true. Two, because the blogger used the more sophisticated British version- “SHITE!”.

*Selfie shaming is a hot social issue. Seriously, fuck off. Just fuck off.

For a second I was sure the Word Press App was broken, and had mistakenly imported my Facebook feed. Seriously, tho at least on Word Press I have to seek out the stupid, while Facebook is a never ending source of moronic opinions and endless baby pics that no one wants to see. I swear the first person to use the term, “I can’t even” was reading their weird cousin’s pro guns pie chart.

So, I’m done for now. I’m sure more things will set me off tomorrow, and if I remember what they were, I’ll be sure to share. But, until then try and post something that doesn’t make me want to stare into an eclipse. Will ya!?

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