I’ll Be President

I’m back on WordPress, at least for today. I was thinking about this old blog on the drive home just now, and thought I’d take a another stab at it. So I skimmed thru some of my old posts, and man what an asshole I was. Just kidding, I’m actually quite brilliant as you could tell from my very last post where I implied that Hot Topic had done wrong by selling Ed Sheeren t-shirts. Oh how controversial the me of 2 years ago was! Before ya know it I’ll be ranting about fake news, and bragging about the size of my……… inauguration  crowd. Jeez, what did ya think I was going to say there? So, I guess I’m saying I’ll be President soon? Yeah, there’s one of those brilliant and very poorly thought out thoughts like I used to churn out at tortoise like speeds. Boy, are you in for a treat !? 

Anyway, in all non seriousness I feel like giving this another shot. If I do it right, I won’t be so obsessive about views, likes and comments. I’ll just write to write. It’d be nice if I found a topic or style that  that expanded beyond this drivel of the mind you’re currently being subjected to, but if not whatever. I like spewing this type of spew anyhoo. If I feel the same way about it tomorrow, you may see more. So, here’s to tomorrow where anything’s possible, even typing 100 or so pointless words on an old blog that the author himself hasn’t seen in 2 years. Wish me luck.

–PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

Large Coffee With A Side Of Cliche

I am a cliche. I’m currently sitting in the mall Starbucks with an iced coffee, blogging on my ipad, wearing a black t-shirt, and displaying a pretentious air of superiority to those I wrongfully label sheep, soccer mom, bro and annoying old lady. Apologies to all except the sunglassed bro guy with the “Win At All Costs!” t-shirt. Fuck that guy, right!?

I’m actually just killing time waiting for my car to be done. The Lady aka Mighty Keeper of Credit Cards will not be happy with me. My lack of timely automobile maintenance is gonna cost us, but that’s my life. Slack off for as long as I can, then pay for it dearly. Come to think of it, I’m actually slacking off right now by missing a few hours of work to take care of the car. Nice!

Some notables on my surroundings:

• Good 90s mix on in here. Heard Pearl Jam, Pumpkins and now that Groove Is In The Heart song. Barista girl is singing along too 💃.
• Guy next to me is speaking on his phone in Hebrew I think. I’m just guessing it’s Hebrew because he sounds just like Adam Sandler in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. What, you’re so cultured!?
• Alanis Morrisette is very thankful for India, frailty, terror, consequence, and silence. 90s mix remember?
• Lots of people here change out their coffees when not satisfied. I want to strangle this woman who thought her iced coffee would be hot, but the singing barista is very accomodating.
• Stopped to browse in Hot Topic before ending up here. Came across an Ed Sheeren t-shirt. Later I will burn down the Hot Topic. You’re welcome.

So far I’ve only burned about 45 minutes of work time sitting here. If all goes well, I’ve got 3 more hours to kill, and 2 left to bank for a later date. We get very little “emergency time” but what constitutes “emergency” is to our discretion, so enough about my company’s HR policies. Anyway, off to buy some lighter fluid.

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

Completely Unrelated Random Ramblings

Hello faithful blog brothers and sisters! Haven’t had many thoughts worth sharing lately, so I’ve been quiet. Luckily, today there’s actually a few things brewing so, pull up a chair, and let your cup runeth over. Allow the following thoughts, quips and anecdotes to enter your cerebrum or cerebellum or whichever part of the brain filters confused ramblings into epic manifestos. Ready to awed? No? Good, I thrive on lesser expectations. Let the rambling commence:

• The confederate flag. Starting off heavy I know, but according to Facebook it’s required that we all choose sides and then fight to the death. So, here’s my high horsed opinion. The confederate flag shouldn’t be a part of any government building or entity, but private citizens or businesses (this includes TV stations) should absolutely be able to make their own decisions about it. However, the states using it as their state flag are endorsing old values that have demeaned, oppressed, and currently insult a good portion of their own population. A government “by the people” is inconsistent with this oppressive symbol. Now, as far as private citizens go, it’s your right to wave the stars and bars, but it’s also my right to call you an asshole for doing so. That’s the first amendment in action m’fer!
• Onto the lighter side of flag waving. How bout dem soccer gals! That was fun. I always like watching the women’s U.S. team. As an American I will now go back to not caring about soccer (except for the occasional Alex Morgan image searches). I’m only human. 
• Saw my favorite comedian/podcaster, Marc Maron, last week at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ. Great show. The guy is so raw and personal, and  creates such a great connection with the audience. It also helps that the self doubting rage monster living in my head might be his twin separated at birth. 
• Also incorporated some afternoon bar time before the show with The Lady. Maybe we’re aging quick in our mid thirties, but I’ll take a quiet chill bar on a Sunday afternoon over a crowded noisy douchefest on a Saturday night. 
• Today I found myself giving relationship advice to a female co-worker. That was unexpected. Hope I didn’t say anything too stupid. Tried to keep it light and jokey so she wouldn’t be embarrassed. Probably shouldn’t have said anything. Now she’s gonna be mentally scarred after taking my half assed advice. Need to bring in one of those flashy thingies from M.I.B. and erase her memory tomorrow.
• I don’t get millenials. They seem so self involved and emotional, but over the stupidest things. They all have this look in their eye that seems to say “I feel so bad for myself because of that completely meaningless inconsequential thing that means nothing. Don’t you feel bad for me?!” But I have a theory about this. Millenials are being raised by the gen xers who were raised by baby boomers. The baby boomers in large were pretty laxed in the emotional support department with their gen x kids. A lot of gen x kids grew up disconnected from their parents, and now they’re over compensating by endulging every emotional whim of their annoying millenial kids. So, as it goes with many of the world’s ills (war, pollution, income inequality, etc.) millenials are just another big F up by the baby boomers.

Any other sociological quandarys I can tackle for you? Shit, I got unqualified opinions on countless topics. What would you like to know? The one true religion? Meaning of life? Nothing’s off limits here (except for maybe relationship advice to female co-workers). Then I flashy thing you.

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

It’s Early

It’s early. Very early for me. 5:06am. Couldn’t sleep, so I’ll try blogging. My head space for writing (if you could even call this writing) is the daydream zone. That’s where I was for awhile in bed a few minutes ago. Mulling over dreams I just dreamt until real life spoiled the fun, and I was replaying the clusterfuckery at work yesterday. So, I decided to move from bed to couch, and attempt to maintain whatever magical mental state of grace that I have assigned blogging time to.

The dream I had was odd and random. The Lady and I were in Coney Island ready to ride the famous Cyclone roller coaster, but decided to stop for drinks first. The nice gamer girl bartender brings our drinks, and says “$15.50”. I throw down $20 and she says “Oh, that was for just the one”. $15.50 for one drink!? Well we were just aghast. Aghast I tell you! That was it for the dream. Never made it to the Cyclone.

It’s quiet here sans the Indie music channel playing softly. Someone named Jamie xx is singing a trippy electronica based song called Loud Spaces. Ironic because it’s helping to create a relaxed and quiet space. Despite the title it’s very easy listening. Not my preferred genre, but it’s good to look outside the box sometimes. 

So, I can’t sleep now, but with the trippy music, and my comfy couch I’ll be sure to nod off 5 minutes before I have to get up for work. Happens all the time when I can’t sleep. I get restless in bed, come down to the couch, and screw around with WordPress or watch Sportscenter until my brain powers down right when it needs to power up. I do okay on limited sleep tho. Maybe an extra cup of coffee, and I’m good to go.

I like having the quiet early hours to myself once in awhile. It’s rare because I love to sleep until the last possible second before I need to get ready. But, when that’s not possible I take the occasional insomniatic morning as unexpected free time, and usually I feel pretty good about it despite the lack of sleep.

I feel ok now. I’ll be asleep soon, and I’ll be awake again soon. And I’ll have lots of coffee….. Soon.

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

I Know Nothing

How is it that my existential crises are always brought on by nothing more than my annual succumbing to the common cold? I’ve been fighting it off the last few days, and as usual I’m also fighting with the doubting, pessimistic stress monster that lives in my brain.

Fortunately he can only break through during times of mild illness, but he turns me into such a little bitch asking annoying nagging questions like:

• Why didn’t I pay more attention in school? This career path sucks.
• Why do the Mets always start giving up runs as soon as I put the game on?
• What’s the appropriate noise level to complain about neighbor noise? They’re always outside talking shit to each other. Never really late or early, but It’s annoying as fuck.
• What the fuck was I thinking signing a thirty year loan, and why didn’t I look up the term “market fluctuation”?
• How will I get through another day without killing half of my co-workers?
• Why do I keep watching Game Of Thrones? Should of stopped after the red wedding.

There’s a million others, but this is boring already. Anyway, I’m usually pretty care free, but colds always bring out my inner little bitch. It’s like a male period, except that it totally isn’t. Sorry ladies, I should know better than to assume I know anything about that. I feel like Jon Snow because I literally know nothing…. Shit, not a good time to compare myself to Jon Snow. 

Well, off to drown my sorrows in hot tea and the on coming assault of whys and what the fucks that play in a repeat loop as I try to sleep.

–PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

Never Mind The Sellouts

What the fuck what the fuck what the fucking fuck?!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!!! Can you believe this? Can I believe in anything? The band that brought punk to the masses, and spit in the face of conformity and consumerism has become the very thing it (and I) hates. The Sex Pistols put their fucking name on the Virgin Mastercard. Once symbols of freedom and rebellion these iconic images are now the face of coorporate control and blood sucking debt.

I’m so offended by this. These were the guys who taunted the queen of England, and literally stalked a boat she was riding on for some bullshit celebration. I believe the word “jubilee” was actually associated with it. Anyway, The Sex Pistols floated behind the queen  playing God Save Queen “her facist regime”; the regime that allows the queen and her family to live in luxury from the taxes taken from its people; some of whom can barely afford to feed themselves. Yeah the boat thing happened. Look it up.

So, they’ve gone from attacking an institution that is a burden on its people, to supporting and profiting from an institution that is not only a burden, but preys on the poor, under-educated and desperate.

And, here’s what really hits me hard about this. There are not too many things in this world that have a profound meaning, or inspire me. I grow pretty jaded as I get older, but one thing I always hold on to is the defiant anti establishment spirit of rock n’ roll. The intangible freedom those of us who know feel in the depths of our being that is so far removed from any marketing strategy or profit and loss sheet. That sacred place for me is now sullied. This is even worse than Green Day accepting a rock n’roll hall of fame induction. At least that was pointless and really didn’t hurt anyone. Credit cards ruin people’s lives for fuck sake!

I mean we always knew they (established financial controllers of everything on this Earth) were winning, but at least there was an illusion that the counter culture was putting up a fight. Who takes up the mantle now, Ed fucking Sheeren?!!

God damn it, I could go on and on, but rather I’ll just end with a few spurts of whatthefuckatudes, and try and move forward into the never ending soulless void. This really sucks.

Most unpunk rock thing ever

Fuck Mastercard, Virgin Airlines, Johnny Rotten, and Richard Branson.

Never Mind The Sellouts

Rock is dead

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

The Complainer

Your problem is trivial. Please consider.

Your perspective is askew. Blink twice for translation.

You’ve stolen precious seconds. Lost forever.

Created chaos. Mindless disrupter.

Puff out your chest. Point your fingers.

Scapegoat your peers and trample your juniors.

Patience is fleeting. Warnings not heeded.

Your problem is now mine. You have succeeded.

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

two poems 75th street and 78th street

This is great stuff from a guy I sorta know. It’s about day drinking in NYC, and wealthy junkies. So, read it, or I’ll kill your cat.

What Makes You Laugh? Writing Challenge

Somehow I missed it 6 days ago, but I was challenged to a writing contest. So, since I’m currently pretty vacant, and can’t come up with any of my own ideas, I thought I’d try it. Thanks amusingmyselfmusings for the challenge. You may have inadvertently forced me to realize the futility and hopelessness of my blogging endeavor. I will most certainly crawl back into the shadows after my inferior work is laid bare for the masses to mock and derise. 

Just kiddin😜. I’m such such a little 💩 sometimes. Actually thanks very much for thinking of me, but isn’t an immature dark and gloomy guilt trip more fun to read than a sincere grown up thank you? Seriously, everyone go read her blog now….. well after you read mine would be better. But really, it’s a good one. Check her out!

Anyway the topic I was challenged with was What Makes You Laugh. Here it is:

I’ve agreed to my first writing challenge, “What Makes Me Laugh”. I’m kind of nervous as doing something creative as part of a group isn’t my thing. I’m not a joiner to be honest, but when in Rome. So what makes me laugh? The you tube of Tickle Me Elmo being burnt alive is pretty hysterical. Pretty much anything that juxtaposes opposites with an unexpected take or the one that would be most innappropriate. George Carlin, Lewis Black, Howard Stern. Those who would go against social norms are always the funniest people to me. Jen Kirkman’s new Netflix special is pretty good. Farts are always funny. Old farts are not funny. I really don’t want to be an old fart. I fart too much(Fast food). My own bad luck is funny. Seriously, sometimes when shit is totally fucked and I can’t get out of my own way, and my world is crashing with no way out, I’ve been known break out in hysterical fits of laughter… Time ran out during the last sentence…….. 

That was it; that nonsense of a paragraph above. 189 words was all I could come up with. I think I broke some rules too, but I’m a constant self editor, and couldn’t help myself. I started out by miss-naming the damn thing, and it was a total cheat to talk about being challenged and what it was about. On the bright side, I think my only typos were “innappropriate ” and capitalizing fast food. Oh well. I got to talk about farts so we all win. 

Now that you’ve most certainly had your fill of farts for the day, I’ll  paste the instructions on how to participate. At the end of this post I’ll challenge a few specific bloggers to a challenge of a topic of my choice, but anyone can participate. If you do, leave a link to your post in the comments here. Anyway, here are the rules. Feel free to break them:

Open an MS Word document

Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat.

You topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH A TIMER.

Fill the word doc with as many words as you want. Once you began writing do not stop even to turn.

Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write the right spelling and stick to grammar rules)

You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and CAPITALS. However if you do, it would be best.

At the end of your post write down ‘No. Of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 5 bloggers).

The following suckers bloggers have been challenged:

Bipolar Girl

Flop Till Ya Drop FTYD

The Lone Panda

PleaseTellMeShe’sJoking

We’re all out of cornflakes. FU.

amusingmyselfmusings 

Feel free to take this on or totally blow it off. No offense will be taken. Do it if you like, or tell me to have intimate relations with myself. Life is about choice, and who am I to decide your fate?

Ready? Your topic is: The Dumbest Thing I Did Today (or yesterday, last week, whatever)

Go!!

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com

The Slackers

We were awesome, pathetic, brilliant, stupid, and insane; a small group of like minded 18-22 year old slackers with empty pockets, shitty cars, and middle fingers raised. We fed off each other’s sarcasm, bathroom humor, and a healthy taste for alcohol and mild drugs. In small apartments that reeked of cheap beer and weed, we debated the prowess of Floyd and Zeppelin, and bemoaned our underpaying jobs, and self inflicted circumstances. We wished we were from the sixties, dressed like Kurt Cobain, and hid from life like Holden Cauffield. It was heaven.

–http://PoorlyThoughtOutThoughts.wordpress.com